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One
​Writer's ​Life

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One author helping others navigate the writing world.
​Tips, ideas, and guidance for new or experienced writers,
​shared through my experience of the writing world.

March Blog 2020: Uncertain Times call for Productive Measures

28/3/2020

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Title image for Emily Larkins's March blog: Uncertain times call for productive measures. Pink background with signature flower image in white.
​We are deep within uncertain times to say the least. Like me, you may feel unsettled, anxious, constantly on the watch for the next development. You might be in self-isolation or locked down, you’re likely out of routine, possibly jobless, or even ill. How do we cope with this reshaping of our lives, and how can we make the most of it? I’ve got a few ideas for you, especially those toying with the idea of starting writing careers.
Instagram image for Emily Larkins's March blog post, text reading Making the most of Challenging Times. Background image worried young lady.

How are you feeling? Jacinda's got my back!

​I’ll be blunt: I’m a bit of a hyper-aware mess. It’s clear, if you’ve got a keen eye: I bite my nails when stressed, my face is a blotchy mess, and I can’t stick to one task for longer than twenty minutes, and that’s at a stretch! Plus, at the time of publishing I've just been diagnosed with Shingles, so I wasn't as 'on top of things' as I thought.
​I’m sure I’m not alone in this. Just last week our Prime Minister took the unprecedented step of addressing the nation on TV. Sure, we see Jacinda Ardern quite a lot at the moment, giving press conferences almost daily, travelling from place to place to check on progress and what our country needs to be prepared for this Covid19 monster, but a direct address is rare. The last I remember happened after the March 15th Christchurch Mosque Attacks almost this time last year. She looked us straight down the camera and assured us she’s looking out for our wellbeing. Unlike some other political leaders across the world, I believe her. She’s not in this for her own gain, political or otherwise. She spends a lot of time away from her fiancé and her own bubba on the quest to slow this pandemic down and soften the blow on our small country, and we know: Jacinda’s got this.
(Side note, I feel like our Prime Minister is part of our extended family, hence the first name basis. Our previous heads have had nicknames in our house – John Key = Jonkey, Bill English = Binglish. Jacinda is Jacinda because she’s guided us through some of our toughest, most personally challenging and desperate times. She’s not afraid to put herself out there. She’s visible, she’s kind, she’s relatable, and at times, hilarious *queue the East Coast Wave!).
So if Jacinda’s got us as a whole, how can I make better use of the time I’m left with? Not by obsessively checking news headlines, that’s for sure. And what about all those people that are now jobless, in isolation, or otherwise at a loss for what to do?
First of all, back up, and take a good deep breath of some clean, clear air. Take another for good measure. Now, read on…
"Having something productive to work on takes my mind off 'real world' stresses and recharges my batteries." - Emily Larkins.

So how do we bust those worries for a bit?

Some of you out there will have been toying with writing, or the idea of writing. It doesn’t matter if you’re serious about a career at it, or just enjoy it, this applies to anyone. You might enjoy poetry, writing short stories, non-fiction, fiction, journaling, screen-writing, anything! You might have written before, or this might be a fresh start for you. It doesn’t matter. This post is about the intent, and that might relate to something other than writing too. My key point here is stepping away from mass panic buying and toward something, anything productive that settles your mind. Cue quote from Peter Drucker: “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Take hold of your future and make it work for you!
So…
What can you do to switch from Covid19 jitters to a productive mind set? (The highlighted sections in this post include links to some of my blog posts and resources that you might find helpful!):
  1. Firstly, decide what you want to do. If you’re unsure, grab a sheet of paper (or similar) and throw ideas down onto it. Mine would look something like: writing (new to writing? Start here!), drawing, painting, crochet, sewing (I’ve got a great idea for Easter Bunnies for my nieces and nephews!), reading (try these!), veggie garden…
  2. Next, grab a highlighter, or put rings around the ideas that excite you. The Easter bunnies would be my first choice. If you’re looking at something that could provide income, give those an extra ring.
  3. Now you’re going to set a goal and make a plan. It doesn’t need to be complicated or even tidy, the point is to set down your intent. You might require materials, you might need to write out a procedure or even create a business plan. You might want to dedicate a block of time per day to your project, or even keep regular work hours. When this is done, put it somewhere visible to remind yourself of your intent.
  4. Create a workspace. Dedicate an area to your project so you can come and go from it as you like. You may be lucky and already have office space, you may be able to carve out a corner of the dining room, living room, or your bedroom. I find it best if I don’t have to unpack and pack up every time I want to work – that puts me off and I don’t end up doing any!
  5. Now, some sage advice: don’t overdo it! That’s a sure way to get sick of something really quick. Set your time, and stick to it. I give myself a minimum and a maximum and aim for somewhere in between. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t meet your minimum one day, balance it out the next, likewise if you go over another day because you had to complete a step. Be productive, but not obsessed or unhealthy about it. Good old moderation will see you through.

Some extra tips: timetables, calendars, allocating blocks of time (click here to see tips I use) ​to certain tasks, monitoring progress, sharing with others – any or all of these things could be useful to you. I’ll suggest journaling as a healthy way to monitor how you’re feeling. I’ve got a Quick Tip blog post on Journaling that might help – it’s quick and easy and only takes around ten minutes a week to work through.
And remember to breathe!
​So, it’s time to get your project on! It’ll keep you in a routine, keep your mind occupied on something meaningful, and potentially create some income. Now grab that paper, and let me know how you’re going in the comments. If you need a hand or advice, feel free to drop me a comment in the box or hunt me down on social media. Here are my links.
 
Until we catch up next time,
Emily.

P.S. Get in touch through the comments section if you'd like more tipes or ideas, or if you have some to share with others. Together, we'll get through this!
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January News 2020

12/2/2020

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CHANGE: ENEMY OR ALLY? IT'S UP TO YOU!

Title image for Emily Larkins's January 2020 news - features the title Change: Enemy or Ally? It's up to you and web address www.emilylarkins.nz
​Change; not my favourite word by a country mile (and I’ll bet quite a few of you struggle with it too). I’m in a zone of big change at the moment, and instead of resisting, I’m learning to go with the flow and push through the sticky bits. I’ve found some tips to change my way of thinking about change, and best of all, it’s helping! Come along and find out how.
January News instagram image for Emily Larkins's January news 2020. Change: Enemy or Ally? It's up to you. Clock background.

​Talk about change! It’s all on at home this month…

​These short weeks of January have been my last with a pre-schooler at home. My youngest turned five this month, and that means starting school in the first week of February. It’s the strangest thing anticipating her not being ‘little’ anymore. She’s such a capable kid, and whilst she has the odd emotional moment and worry, she’s so chilled about it all (yes, I’m jealous!). She’s adept at taking things in her stride, plus she’s unbelievably lucky in having my sister as her first teacher at primary school, and her big sister and cousins to walk beside her through it all. She’s going to school knowing there are people there that love her already, and will always have her back. I envy her that (I’m an eldest child and didn’t know a soul when I started school). So, after a good month of summer holiday lazy days, we’re back to creating new routines and learning to stick to them.
We’ve already passed the first two of our many monumental birthdays for the year– my daughter’s fifth, and my father’s sixty-fifth. Instead of big shindigs, we’ve gone gently this year, celebrating with close family in informal settings – swimming at the school pool, lunches at my parents’ place, and we’ve spread out over several days. We’ve needed it that way with everyone having unseasonable colds and a few dramas early in the month. One of my family members joined a well-known local ‘club’ – the ‘I ‘parked’ in the harbour club.’ This day served as a reminder that it’s easy to do (most long-time peninsula people have a go at some time in their lives), and that we’re so incredibly lucky to live in the community we do; we know members of our local volunteer Fire and Emergency crew personally, and they came to the rescue with genuine concern and a humorous, caring touch. They pointed out to us, too, that my family stick together like glue – if one is in trouble, we’ll all turn up to get them out of it. In the space of a half-hour, said family-member had four vehicles and their entire immediate family on hand to transport children, pick up bits of vehicle off the beach, and clear out the busted car on one very wet day. I don’t fancy repeating that day ever again, but I’ve an increased appreciation for our emergency services, especially those whom do it on a volunteer basis.
Scary bits aside, my husband, children and I have spent the holidays catching up on rest, jobs around home, and occasional outings. We spent New Year’s Day with a rare trip to the movies to see Frozen 2. I’ll quietly recommend it here, because all four of us enjoyed it, and more than the first movie. I enjoyed this storyline more, and discovering more about the past of Anna and Elsa’s family helped the first movie make more sense. On a slightly disconcerting note, the message in the movie, following your inner voice and embracing change, mirrors where I am in my head at the moment. Elsa reminds me that I have to make the most of the challenges and changes my inner voice demands, and Anna/Kristoff’s, embracing change through uncertainty, reminds that I’ll make it through, especially with a positive mind-set.
My positives through change this month are: I’m about to have two children going to the same place each morning (no time-wasting multiple pickups and drop-offs), meaning I’ll have three days a week that will be my dedicated writing time; I’ll also have one less little person on my care days, and that in itself creates opportunities; it’s another step on my ladder to where I want to be in life, a little more freedom with children that are slowly growing into their independence so I’m regaining my own a little at a time. My inner voice strives for a successful writing career, and it’s up to me to make it happen, no one else. If I don’t go for it, I’ll forever regret the missed opportunity and wonder ‘what if…’

Let’s not miss those writing opportunities!

​I’ve got a big opportunity with my three dedicated writing days (one of which I’m using today!). Sure, I won’t get three every week – I’ll have swap days with my little charges, and if I have appointments it makes sense to schedule them for a ‘no kids’ day, but it’s time I’ll have to make the most of. Luckily I’ve had the rare foresight to get prepared early. I set up my planner at the end of December, I’ve found tips and tricks to be more productive (insert links), and I’ve set goals, real ones, big ones, something I’ve been reluctant to commit to in the past. I’m looking at it as a rededication to what I feel is my ‘calling’ (my ‘thing read more here to find yours) and if I don’t give it a good go now, I might lose my opportunity.
January has been eye-opening in terms of how much work I can accomplish if I set goals and push to reach them. I set a time goal at the beginning of the year and have surprised myself by exceeding it by a large margin! (Check out more on goal-setting here: https://emilylarkins.nz/one-writers-life-blog/quick-tip-1-goal-setting-the-easy-and-doable-way) The beginning of February, however, has been more of a challenge pushing through the new routine with small people days, school trips, and just adjusting to the new routine. I’ve been tired and reluctant, but my super-short weekly reflection and planning sessions have reminded me of the positive feelings and achievements I’ve made, and that gets me fired up again, mostly. Tiredness is my enemy, but one I can eliminate by going to bed earlier! Now to actually do that…

Embracing change and striving all round…

​Sometimes we just have to hold on and ride the storm, others we’ve got to push on through. Reflection and planning have proved to be so useful to me. Having my wee planner book (no matter how rough and ready it is), and writing down my reflections and plans sets it in concrete, along with the fierce intent to do better. Hey, it’s only taken 37 years to get my butt into gear on that one. It turns out my resistance (or rather, not-readiness) has held me back for a looong time, but no more!
I’m hopeless with change (mostly through my thinking, partially attributed to anxiety and depression in more recent years), though a friend reminded me recently that most people are knocked around by change in one way or another. We all wobble when it comes up, some more than others, but change is an important part of life, and if we find healthy ways of thinking to cope with it, it can be positive too (thanks Liz!). It’s just taken me a little longer to learn to find, and to embrace the positive.
Particularly over the last month I’ve run with the need to find tips and tricks to create a healthier and more successful way of ‘doing life.’ I’ve developed routines and rituals to follow, including re-setting my thinking each week through reflection and mindful planning (you can read more about this here https://emilylarkins.nz/one-writers-life-blog/self-reflective-journaling-improve-your-focus-in-just-ten-minutes-per-week), tweaking old ways (turning my haphazard jumping from task to task into mindfully time-blocked sections), and setting those previously dreaded goals (read more here https://emilylarkins.nz/one-writers-life-blog/time-management-for-authors-bloggers-or-anyone-with-a-goal-to-smash); I’m not in the sweet spot yet, but it all helps. I’ve had a largely successful January due to a bit of intent, and surpassing previous goals (heck, even last year’s tiny goals are coming in handy!).
In short, I’m learning to act deliberately more often, to embrace the home and work routines to my advantage in both areas together, and the boost I’m getting from achieving goals has lifted my mood – good for everyone in my house, myself included!
​Have a great month everyone, especially those with littlies going back to school,
Emily.

​How has acting mindfully and with intent helped you in your home and work life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments .
​

Coming up: 

​Short Story Sunday – the first of my new short stories (happening every second month) – drops Sunday (Pacific Time). Thirty-Four is a fun wee story that I’ve taken from my childhood – a run-in with a boogie-board and a particularly curious cow. I laughed a lot writing it, and I hope you do too!
Flash Fiction Fridays – I’m working hard to provide you with free content each Friday. The first of my 2020 series of flash fiction stories went live this past Friday (Pacific Time). On the first Friday of each month I’ll post a new flash fiction story for free, and I’ll be sharing previous flash fiction stories every other week for free too! Keep an eye out on social media for updates. See more about my first flash fiction for the year at ​https://emilylarkins.nz/one-writers-life-blog/flash-fiction-fridays-have-arrived
Next week you’ll find my next Quick Tip post on Planner Foldouts – a super wee tool to keep all your important task reminders at hand.
Call to action: Don’t miss Flash Fiction Fridays, Short Story Sundays, or blog posts! Keep an eye out on social media or better yet, join my mailing list  - be sure to opt in! https://emilylarkins.nz/contact.html
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October news: Recognising my THING and making the most of it.

14/11/2019

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Great news! You can recognise your Thing too!

​Some call it a passion, others a hobby, or their happy place. Though October has been quieter than September, it’s still been a month of big highs and lows. Discover how my blog writing has led to a massive ‘ah ha’ moment, and an exciting opportunity.
Emily Larkins, author, October news: Recognising my THING and making the most of it. Pen and paper ready to inspire.

Home life:
​Oh how life throws it at you, and then you’re expected to hold it all together…

Thankfully we’ve had a slightly quieter month in the Larkins house. Last month was a bit much for me all round. People who’ve known me a long time realise that I’m not a great ‘coper.’ I need prior warning, time to digest upcoming events, basically, space enough to get excited about things. Luckily I get eleven months for birthdays, this month including my eldest niece’s fifteenth birthday (FIFTEEN?!) and my youngest niece’s first birthday (I can’t believe she’s one already)!
The Larkins side (celebrating Miss 15) are a well-oiled machine when it comes to birthdays. My husband is one of five children and most of them have partners and children to celebrate throughout the year so it sure gets busy at times. Family tea at Nana’s (my husband’s mother) is usually the go so we catch up pretty much monthly around food, cousins excited to play (usually loudly) together, and my step-father-in-law’s amazing gluten free chocolate mud cake! It’s insane to think that this girl came into the world just six months before my wedding. She’s grown into a kind, motivated, talented young woman with a passion for horses and a rare (for her age) keenness for learning that is wonderful to see. Her mama has done a wonderful job of raising a girl who knows how to go after what she wants and to persevere, even when times are tough. I have no doubt this girl has big, exciting things in her future!
Emily's niece's fifteenth birthday cake. It's gluten free chocolate mud cake with purple candles and a horse shoe, because she LOVES horses. Ps. It was DELICIOUS!
Emily's one-year-old niece's banana and caramel 'poke' cake (banana cake with caramel sauce injected in. Red candle and little sticky fingers in shot.
On the other Sheppard side, my family is a little smaller. I’m the eldest of three girls and between us we’ve birthed six little people (aged 1-7). Little Miss One has spent the weeks since her birthday lunch at the beginning of the month saying “hapbirday” and “hooray,” and trying to jump. She’s a bright spark, curious, lively, and such a good wee girl. I’m lucky to look after her and her brother two days a week, and watching her learn and develop is fantastic.
However, on the flipside of the celebrations of the month, we’ve had a fair dose of serious topics to manage too. Great-Nana (to my girls) has made the decision to sell the family holiday home she’s lived in over the last decade (and which has been in the family a whole lot longer), and move to the Dunedin. Here she’ll be closer to family and medical facilities as she nears her nineties. We visited Hampden this month to help pack up some smaller things and take away old treasures that won’t fit in to her new urban life. I’ve inherited a bunch of old containers (milk canisters, buckets, bowls, and such) that I intend to use as herb planters on my deck. My husband and his brother-in-law got to go through the wood pile to salvage things for sheds. Though it was an emotional trip, it was lovely for my husband and his sister to hang out in their childhood haunt, and for the next generation, all our kids, to make memories there at the house and on the beach, too.
Emily's two daughters aged four and seven, and their four year old female cousin in a green garden cart pulled by their two year old boy cousin and his dad. They're exploring their great-nana's garden before the property is sold. The sun is out and flowers are in bloom
Antique farm containers transformed into planters for herbs including: rosemary in a milk can, parsely and oregano in old metal buckets, lemon thyme in an old dipper jug, and lettuces in various containers. Happy accident, hydrangea in blue pot included in image.
Another big shock came a few months ago but we're only just getting to grips with it. A close family member received a diagnosis that has us all considering the future, in particular, the way we plan for what we’ll do ‘when we’re older.’ Having to change life-long hopes and dreams on the basis of a single diagnosis, and the idea that we might have less time with that family member than we should is so hard to come to terms with. This person is so relied on and is such an integral part of everything that goes on in the family that the idea of their absence simply doesn’t compute. And so, the resistance rises up through medical treatment, the rallying of family, and making preparations to give support and encouragement through this sh***y turn of events.
​

In short, this month has had the full scale of highs and lows. As a person that experiences mental health issues, it is difficult maintain a balance when I’m so focused on others. I’m prone to overlooking my mental health needs and easily miss the little clues that I might be on a slide. As many parents will know, when mama goes down, the rest of the family slip and slide too. The grumbles turn into frustration and meltdowns. In fact, that’s usually the clearest barometer I have as to how I’m doing – why are the kids so up and down at the moment? Oh, it’s because I am! So yeah, I need to do something about that!

​Writing life: So, at what point do you consider yourself famous, or at least credible?

​I’ve hit a staggering 5000 followers on Twitter! Back in February 2018 when I joined, I thought that 500 would be an amazing number. I thought the thousands were for famous people, and anything over 5000 meant you’d made it! It’s funny how your goals move as you get to them. I still look at others over the 5k mark and am in awe of these incredible presences on the platform. I, in the meantime, am still just me, learning all I can from the amazing #writingcommunity family I’ve become a part of. Actually, I do have to admit to feeling a tiny bit famous now. I’ve been asked to guest post on a fantastic blog run by two lovely, creative ladies. It’s an exciting development that I hadn’t anticipated, but the longer I think about it, the greater the sense of achievement becomes. Little by little I’m getting out there into the world, and I’m managing to do it from my safe spot on the couch behind my computer screen.
But here I am procrastinating again. My platform is one thing, but it doesn’t mean that much if I don’t actually WRITE SOMETHING! This month my greatest accomplishment (aside from the guest post invitation), is having entered all my plot data into the writing document for The Weight of Expectation. It’s been a slog, and at times an interesting one, but it now means I have to bite the bullet and get writing! What grates is that this is my third re-plan and re-write. It’s the gritty part of writing where you want to throw the lot out the window and set it on fire because it feels like the whole thing is crap. Actually, having just written that sentence, I now realise why I feel so resistant to it: it’s the gritty bit. It’s the hard the uphill slog before I get to the rollercoaster downhill of revision and editing. Yay! Eek! Damnit! LOL.

​What it all means for this writer: Duh, it’s all connected, OR, how on earth am I only making this connection now?

Woman wondering why it's taken 37 years to realise what her 'thing,' or passion is. She's wearing a blue shirt, has short hair, and a confused expression.
​I feel like I should have realised this sooner, but writing my One Writer’s Life blog may be of more use to me than simply sharing stuff with you. Through my news blogging process I’m actually going back to revise my month – something I don’t formally do otherwise. By separating my month into personal and writing lives, I’m noticing correlations between them. The second revelation to me is that my writing strongly influences my feelings, and without writing, my inner workings get off-kilter. On the flipside, the happenings in my personal life inform my writing, perhaps not directly word-for-word, but they’re more intertwined than I thought. This may seem totally obvious to everyone on the outside, but as I said before, I’m often oblivious to what’s going on in my own brain, so we’ll consider 37-and-a-half years to get there better than never!
Often when I’m finding life a bit much, I’ll crave writing time, which for me is focused quiet time, a time when I’m alone and responsible for no one but myself. If I’ve had an amazing writing session, or I feel that I’ve had a great day of work on my ‘writing business,’ I feel so much more able to provide for my family through myself, if you get what I mean. Honestly, how can it have taken me so long to make this link? How can I have trudged through my life without realising the importance of it all? All I can hope for right in this moment is that I’m helping someone else realise it within themselves too. You can’t do a great job looking after your family if you do a crappy job of giving yourself what you need to feel alive. So, find your ‘writing.’ Some would call it your ‘passion,’ but I’m more comfortable with calling it a ‘thing.’ Writing is my Thing. So, find the Thing that gives you inner nourishment. It might be physical activity, it might be meditation or gardening or painting or fixing things. Everyone is different, but it is possible for you to find the thing that works for you, and you don’t have to call it a passion.
Text graphic reading 'find your THING' accompanied by cartoon fireworks ready to explode.
I hope now that I’ve had my big ‘ah ha’ moment, I’ll be able to put it all into practice over the coming, potentially challenging months. I’ll have to monitor myself more closely, to get on a better routine with my blog writing, to take time out when I’m in a mental frizz, and to embrace the opportunities to spend with family in celebration. After all, we don’t know what’s around the corner for ourselves or those close to us. It could be brilliant and inspiring, or it could be difficult and life-altering. Whatever it is, we need to be as prepared as we can be either way, and for me that means keeping on top of my rollercoaster – recognising the highs and lows as they happen and doing what I can through writing and quiet time to smooth the ride. I’m finally recognising my Thing and making the most of it.

A question for you:

How does your Thing impact on your physical, emotional, and working life?
​

Leave your answer in the comments

Next month I’ll be looking ahead to the silly season, the summer season, and for many in my family, the birthday season. It’ll be interesting to see how I’ve gone with my Thing through all that chaos!
​From One Writer to another, good luck finding your Thing!
Until next month,
Emily.
​Psst! Yes, you!
Join me on Pinterest to make use of the section I’ve added under ‘About the Author’ on self-care. I’ve added this in response to my low this month to remind myself of all the great tools I’ve been taught to maintain my mental health, and to collect new inspiration I find as I go. You can also follow me to benefit from all the hours I’ve spent scouring pins to give inspiration to your writing, creative business, and to see what I’m working on. My Pinterest account is a resource intended to get every writer into creative mode and is full of tips and tools to enhance your writing experience. Visit today!
Visit Emily over on Pinterest by clicking here
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    Hi, I'm Emily,
    I'm an indie-published author and busy mum working hard to make my dreams come true.
    I'm passionate about helping other beginner writers find confidence and get motivated to give their writing dreams a shot with help along the way.
    ​Join me for mini adventures to see what works for me and learn how to make your writing dream a reality!

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