CHANGE: ENEMY OR ALLY? IT'S UP TO YOU!
Talk about change! It’s all on at home this month…
These short weeks of January have been my last with a pre-schooler at home. My youngest turned five this month, and that means starting school in the first week of February. It’s the strangest thing anticipating her not being ‘little’ anymore. She’s such a capable kid, and whilst she has the odd emotional moment and worry, she’s so chilled about it all (yes, I’m jealous!). She’s adept at taking things in her stride, plus she’s unbelievably lucky in having my sister as her first teacher at primary school, and her big sister and cousins to walk beside her through it all. She’s going to school knowing there are people there that love her already, and will always have her back. I envy her that (I’m an eldest child and didn’t know a soul when I started school). So, after a good month of summer holiday lazy days, we’re back to creating new routines and learning to stick to them.
We’ve already passed the first two of our many monumental birthdays for the year– my daughter’s fifth, and my father’s sixty-fifth. Instead of big shindigs, we’ve gone gently this year, celebrating with close family in informal settings – swimming at the school pool, lunches at my parents’ place, and we’ve spread out over several days. We’ve needed it that way with everyone having unseasonable colds and a few dramas early in the month. One of my family members joined a well-known local ‘club’ – the ‘I ‘parked’ in the harbour club.’ This day served as a reminder that it’s easy to do (most long-time peninsula people have a go at some time in their lives), and that we’re so incredibly lucky to live in the community we do; we know members of our local volunteer Fire and Emergency crew personally, and they came to the rescue with genuine concern and a humorous, caring touch. They pointed out to us, too, that my family stick together like glue – if one is in trouble, we’ll all turn up to get them out of it. In the space of a half-hour, said family-member had four vehicles and their entire immediate family on hand to transport children, pick up bits of vehicle off the beach, and clear out the busted car on one very wet day. I don’t fancy repeating that day ever again, but I’ve an increased appreciation for our emergency services, especially those whom do it on a volunteer basis.
Scary bits aside, my husband, children and I have spent the holidays catching up on rest, jobs around home, and occasional outings. We spent New Year’s Day with a rare trip to the movies to see Frozen 2. I’ll quietly recommend it here, because all four of us enjoyed it, and more than the first movie. I enjoyed this storyline more, and discovering more about the past of Anna and Elsa’s family helped the first movie make more sense. On a slightly disconcerting note, the message in the movie, following your inner voice and embracing change, mirrors where I am in my head at the moment. Elsa reminds me that I have to make the most of the challenges and changes my inner voice demands, and Anna/Kristoff’s, embracing change through uncertainty, reminds that I’ll make it through, especially with a positive mind-set.
My positives through change this month are: I’m about to have two children going to the same place each morning (no time-wasting multiple pickups and drop-offs), meaning I’ll have three days a week that will be my dedicated writing time; I’ll also have one less little person on my care days, and that in itself creates opportunities; it’s another step on my ladder to where I want to be in life, a little more freedom with children that are slowly growing into their independence so I’m regaining my own a little at a time. My inner voice strives for a successful writing career, and it’s up to me to make it happen, no one else. If I don’t go for it, I’ll forever regret the missed opportunity and wonder ‘what if…’
Let’s not miss those writing opportunities!
I’ve got a big opportunity with my three dedicated writing days (one of which I’m using today!). Sure, I won’t get three every week – I’ll have swap days with my little charges, and if I have appointments it makes sense to schedule them for a ‘no kids’ day, but it’s time I’ll have to make the most of. Luckily I’ve had the rare foresight to get prepared early. I set up my planner at the end of December, I’ve found tips and tricks to be more productive (insert links), and I’ve set goals, real ones, big ones, something I’ve been reluctant to commit to in the past. I’m looking at it as a rededication to what I feel is my ‘calling’ (my ‘thing read more here to find yours) and if I don’t give it a good go now, I might lose my opportunity.
January has been eye-opening in terms of how much work I can accomplish if I set goals and push to reach them. I set a time goal at the beginning of the year and have surprised myself by exceeding it by a large margin! (Check out more on goal-setting here: https://emilylarkins.nz/one-writers-life-blog/quick-tip-1-goal-setting-the-easy-and-doable-way) The beginning of February, however, has been more of a challenge pushing through the new routine with small people days, school trips, and just adjusting to the new routine. I’ve been tired and reluctant, but my super-short weekly reflection and planning sessions have reminded me of the positive feelings and achievements I’ve made, and that gets me fired up again, mostly. Tiredness is my enemy, but one I can eliminate by going to bed earlier! Now to actually do that…
Embracing change and striving all round…
Sometimes we just have to hold on and ride the storm, others we’ve got to push on through. Reflection and planning have proved to be so useful to me. Having my wee planner book (no matter how rough and ready it is), and writing down my reflections and plans sets it in concrete, along with the fierce intent to do better. Hey, it’s only taken 37 years to get my butt into gear on that one. It turns out my resistance (or rather, not-readiness) has held me back for a looong time, but no more!
I’m hopeless with change (mostly through my thinking, partially attributed to anxiety and depression in more recent years), though a friend reminded me recently that most people are knocked around by change in one way or another. We all wobble when it comes up, some more than others, but change is an important part of life, and if we find healthy ways of thinking to cope with it, it can be positive too (thanks Liz!). It’s just taken me a little longer to learn to find, and to embrace the positive.
Particularly over the last month I’ve run with the need to find tips and tricks to create a healthier and more successful way of ‘doing life.’ I’ve developed routines and rituals to follow, including re-setting my thinking each week through reflection and mindful planning (you can read more about this here https://emilylarkins.nz/one-writers-life-blog/self-reflective-journaling-improve-your-focus-in-just-ten-minutes-per-week), tweaking old ways (turning my haphazard jumping from task to task into mindfully time-blocked sections), and setting those previously dreaded goals (read more here https://emilylarkins.nz/one-writers-life-blog/time-management-for-authors-bloggers-or-anyone-with-a-goal-to-smash); I’m not in the sweet spot yet, but it all helps. I’ve had a largely successful January due to a bit of intent, and surpassing previous goals (heck, even last year’s tiny goals are coming in handy!).
In short, I’m learning to act deliberately more often, to embrace the home and work routines to my advantage in both areas together, and the boost I’m getting from achieving goals has lifted my mood – good for everyone in my house, myself included!
Have a great month everyone, especially those with littlies going back to school,
How has acting mindfully and with intent helped you in your home and work life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments .
Hi, I'm Emily,