October news: Recognising my THING and making the most of it.

Great news! You can recognise your Thing too!

​Some call it a passion, others a hobby, or their happy place. Though October has been quieter than September, it’s still been a month of big highs and lows. Discover how my blog writing has led to a massive ‘ah ha’ moment, and an exciting opportunity.

Home life:
​Oh how life throws it at you, and then you’re expected to hold it all together…

Thankfully we’ve had a slightly quieter month in the Larkins house. Last month was a bit much for me all round. People who’ve known me a long time realise that I’m not a great ‘coper.’ I need prior warning, time to digest upcoming events, basically, space enough to get excited about things. Luckily I get eleven months for birthdays, this month including my eldest niece’s fifteenth birthday (FIFTEEN?!) and my youngest niece’s first birthday (I can’t believe she’s one already)!

The Larkins side (celebrating Miss 15) are a well-oiled machine when it comes to birthdays. My husband is one of five children and most of them have partners and children to celebrate throughout the year so it sure gets busy at times. Family tea at Nana’s (my husband’s mother) is usually the go so we catch up pretty much monthly around food, cousins excited to play (usually loudly) together, and my step-father-in-law’s amazing gluten free chocolate mud cake! It’s insane to think that this girl came into the world just six months before my wedding. She’s grown into a kind, motivated, talented young woman with a passion for horses and a rare (for her age) keenness for learning that is wonderful to see. Her mama has done a wonderful job of raising a girl who knows how to go after what she wants and to persevere, even when times are tough. I have no doubt this girl has big, exciting things in her future!

On the other Sheppard side, my family is a little smaller. I’m the eldest of three girls and between us we’ve birthed six little people (aged 1-7). Little Miss One has spent the weeks since her birthday lunch at the beginning of the month saying “hapbirday” and “hooray,” and trying to jump. She’s a bright spark, curious, lively, and such a good wee girl. I’m lucky to look after her and her brother two days a week, and watching her learn and develop is fantastic.

However, on the flipside of the celebrations of the month, we’ve had a fair dose of serious topics to manage too. Great-Nana (to my girls) has made the decision to sell the family holiday home she’s lived in over the last decade (and which has been in the family a whole lot longer), and move to the Dunedin. Here she’ll be closer to family and medical facilities as she nears her nineties. We visited Hampden this month to help pack up some smaller things and take away old treasures that won’t fit in to her new urban life. I’ve inherited a bunch of old containers (milk canisters, buckets, bowls, and such) that I intend to use as herb planters on my deck. My husband and his brother-in-law got to go through the wood pile to salvage things for sheds. Though it was an emotional trip, it was lovely for my husband and his sister to hang out in their childhood haunt, and for the next generation, all our kids, to make memories there at the house and on the beach, too.

Another big shock came a few months ago but we're only just getting to grips with it. A close family member received a diagnosis that has us all considering the future, in particular, the way we plan for what we’ll do ‘when we’re older.’ Having to change life-long hopes and dreams on the basis of a single diagnosis, and the idea that we might have less time with that family member than we should is so hard to come to terms with. This person is so relied on and is such an integral part of everything that goes on in the family that the idea of their absence simply doesn’t compute. And so, the resistance rises up through medical treatment, the rallying of family, and making preparations to give support and encouragement through this sh***y turn of events.
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In short, this month has had the full scale of highs and lows. As a person that experiences mental health issues, it is difficult maintain a balance when I’m so focused on others. I’m prone to overlooking my mental health needs and easily miss the little clues that I might be on a slide. As many parents will know, when mama goes down, the rest of the family slip and slide too. The grumbles turn into frustration and meltdowns. In fact, that’s usually the clearest barometer I have as to how I’m doing – why are the kids so up and down at the moment? Oh, it’s because I am! So yeah, I need to do something about that!

​Writing life: So, at what point do you consider yourself famous, or at least credible?

​I’ve hit a staggering 5000 followers on Twitter! Back in February 2018 when I joined, I thought that 500 would be an amazing number. I thought the thousands were for famous people, and anything over 5000 meant you’d made it! It’s funny how your goals move as you get to them. I still look at others over the 5k mark and am in awe of these incredible presences on the platform. I, in the meantime, am still just me, learning all I can from the amazing #writingcommunity family I’ve become a part of. Actually, I do have to admit to feeling a tiny bit famous now. I’ve been asked to guest post on a fantastic blog run by two lovely, creative ladies. It’s an exciting development that I hadn’t anticipated, but the longer I think about it, the greater the sense of achievement becomes. Little by little I’m getting out there into the world, and I’m managing to do it from my safe spot on the couch behind my computer screen.
But here I am procrastinating again. My platform is one thing, but it doesn’t mean that much if I don’t actually WRITE SOMETHING! This month my greatest accomplishment (aside from the guest post invitation), is having entered all my plot data into the writing document for The Weight of Expectation. It’s been a slog, and at times an interesting one, but it now means I have to bite the bullet and get writing! What grates is that this is my third re-plan and re-write. It’s the gritty part of writing where you want to throw the lot out the window and set it on fire because it feels like the whole thing is crap. Actually, having just written that sentence, I now realise why I feel so resistant to it: it’s the gritty bit. It’s the hard the uphill slog before I get to the rollercoaster downhill of revision and editing. Yay! Eek! Damnit! LOL.

​What it all means for this writer: Duh, it’s all connected, OR, how on earth am I only making this connection now?

​I feel like I should have realised this sooner, but writing my One Writer’s Life blog may be of more use to me than simply sharing stuff with you. Through my news blogging process I’m actually going back to revise my month – something I don’t formally do otherwise. By separating my month into personal and writing lives, I’m noticing correlations between them. The second revelation to me is that my writing strongly influences my feelings, and without writing, my inner workings get off-kilter. On the flipside, the happenings in my personal life inform my writing, perhaps not directly word-for-word, but they’re more intertwined than I thought. This may seem totally obvious to everyone on the outside, but as I said before, I’m often oblivious to what’s going on in my own brain, so we’ll consider 37-and-a-half years to get there better than never!
Often when I’m finding life a bit much, I’ll crave writing time, which for me is focused quiet time, a time when I’m alone and responsible for no one but myself. If I’ve had an amazing writing session, or I feel that I’ve had a great day of work on my ‘writing business,’ I feel so much more able to provide for my family through myself, if you get what I mean. Honestly, how can it have taken me so long to make this link? How can I have trudged through my life without realising the importance of it all? All I can hope for right in this moment is that I’m helping someone else realise it within themselves too. You can’t do a great job looking after your family if you do a crappy job of giving yourself what you need to feel alive. So, find your ‘writing.’ Some would call it your ‘passion,’ but I’m more comfortable with calling it a ‘thing.’ Writing is my Thing. So, find the Thing that gives you inner nourishment. It might be physical activity, it might be meditation or gardening or painting or fixing things. Everyone is different, but it is possible for you to find the thing that works for you, and you don’t have to call it a passion.

I hope now that I’ve had my big ‘ah ha’ moment, I’ll be able to put it all into practice over the coming, potentially challenging months. I’ll have to monitor myself more closely, to get on a better routine with my blog writing, to take time out when I’m in a mental frizz, and to embrace the opportunities to spend with family in celebration. After all, we don’t know what’s around the corner for ourselves or those close to us. It could be brilliant and inspiring, or it could be difficult and life-altering. Whatever it is, we need to be as prepared as we can be either way, and for me that means keeping on top of my rollercoaster – recognising the highs and lows as they happen and doing what I can through writing and quiet time to smooth the ride. I’m finally recognising my Thing and making the most of it.

A question for you:

How does your Thing impact on your physical, emotional, and working life?
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Leave your answer in the comments

Next month I’ll be looking ahead to the silly season, the summer season, and for many in my family, the birthday season. It’ll be interesting to see how I’ve gone with my Thing through all that chaos!

​From One Writer to another, good luck finding your Thing!
Until next month,
Emily.

​Psst! Yes, you!
Join me on Pinterest to make use of the section I’ve added under ‘About the Author’ on self-care. I’ve added this in response to my low this month to remind myself of all the great tools I’ve been taught to maintain my mental health, and to collect new inspiration I find as I go. You can also follow me to benefit from all the hours I’ve spent scouring pins to give inspiration to your writing, creative business, and to see what I’m working on. My Pinterest account is a resource intended to get every writer into creative mode and is full of tips and tools to enhance your writing experience. Visit today!

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